Adui,
Good for you!!! It sounds like you're on your way to being a good instructor. Here are a few tips that help me when I'm teaching people.

For your daughter and confusion on the sticks. When I first start training a student I will talk them through the movements to make with the stick. For instance I will say "Pull up - stick back stick back stick back stick back - stick to center". If you tell them which way to move the sticks then they will see what the plane is doing and feel what their fingers are doing and their minds will start associating those together. In my experience it really helps to overcome confusion on which way to move the stick. Especially when the plane is coming towards them and they have "stick reversal" in effect.

As for your son, keep him on the plan. One the first or second flight will teach them a loop and a roll so they get some fun stuff right away. Then as we get into training I will tell them what we are working on for this flight, for example: figure eights, pattern turns, approaches, etc. As we start the flight I'll give them a minute or two of their own. I'll tell them to go "play" for a bit before we start working. This way they get to "play" before they have to work. It seems to satisfy them and then they can concentrate on what needs to be learned or practiced.

I've always been under the opinion that a simulator used wrong does more damage than good. If your kids take the simulator and start practicing "bad habits" then that will start showing up in their flying. Rather, use the simulator as a proper tool and it will help. So after each flying session tell them what you want them to work on using the simulator. If they go home and actually work on practicing what they learned at the field you will find that they simulator will do wonders of good. But if you let them do whatever they want on the simulator you may very well find them picking up bad habits that you will have to "un-teach" them at the field.

Hope this helps

Ken