You can use EITHER cap from tab to case. It doesn't matter much, but I would then to use the .1uF because I have bucketloads of them.

I mis-read your sizes - usually they put a big electrolytic cap between the tabs. You can't do that with a reversing control. THE CAP would go bang, the ESC wouldn't know it was there. An electrolytic cap looks like a miniature Coke can with wires sticking out, and one wire is + the other -. Since you don't have one of those, skip my earlier comments.

All the caps do is take out some of the electronic noise from the motor commutation. They are really poor circuits for that, but better than nothing.

To summarize, use either .047 or .1 between either plus or minus tabs (one cap per tab) and the motor case.

If you google, you can find lots of examples on how to do this on the web. The Rum Runner and Offshore Electric sites should be particularly helpful for wiring diagrams.

Andy