I can beat that last one and it was completely my fault.

I had some sweatpants on and I busted the bottom out between the legs, so I used the largest safety pin my wife had which was like
1.5 to 2 inches long and pinned my pants up.. Well I fell asleep without removing the pin and about 2 in the morning I awoke with a pin in the nad.

I woke up the pin had came undone and embedded itself in my left nad. [:-] I had to jerk it out.

From that day on, no more safety pins and sweat pants get rips they get thrown away!