> do i say no on the controller twice by applying full brake then apply full throttle for yes to choose value 3) ?
yes that is correct. I run option 1 for street bashing .

> what amp should i discharge the the lipo battery and what amp should i charge at ? 11.1v 1350mAh 25C
Please read up on lithium cell safety before you make any mistakes.
1C (1.3A in your case) is the recommended charge rate with a dedicated lithium cell charger that has the right characteristics for lithium cells (different to the old NiMh stuff).
25C indicates that 25x1350 = ~30A is the max safe continuous Amp draw (if you believe the pack claim) which you will struggle to pull in that setup for more than an instant anyway.
A 3s pack is considered flat and requires a recharge at 9v under load (when you feel the Mamba25 starts clipping the power on hard throttle starts). After that, going below the 3v/cell loaded threshold will probably damage the cells.