If you absolutely refuse to get lessons, at least get RealFlight G4.5 or later. It'll get you used to the idea of the controls switching around when the plane's coming toward you, and some idea about water takeoffs & landings. Put in about a month on the simulator, using it for a couple of hours each day, until you can perform the basic manouvers without stressing. Then you might have a 50% chance of taking off, and a 20% chance of landing it intact. Oh, and get a friend to video your attempt and put it on youtube, so we can all have a good giggle.

Seriously - get lessons. They're a lot cheaper than planes.