RE: Please help me do the unthinkable ...
ClearedForTheApproach:
Being a single, multi, or commercial pilot doesn't cut it when flying R/C.
My buddy was a ExNavy Fighter pilot, and he had a very hard time learning to fly R/C.
Even after you learn, be prepared to Crash, and Repair, things happen, and practice saying (I got shot down) great excuse for pilot error!
But the cheapest way to go is seek out an instructor to teach you, go to your nearest Hobby Shop they usually know of Clubs in your area.
Would you have gone to the local airport and climbed into a real plane and attempt to take off and teach yourself to fly?
Same principal here flying R/C, but whatever you decide, good luck!