the posted rules say something like 3 times a year for experienced folks.
the trainer I talked to said something about perhaps being able to help me out on the side get up to speed... If I can't get in, I can't think of many places around here that'd I'd feel safe pretending to control some flying object.

Looks like another excellent reason for you to get into electrics. I live in the Los Angeles area and there are only two public fields you can fly glow or gas planes. But there are about 4 other official areas we can only fly electric. But there are loads of parks, beaches, and hill sides that we can fly electric too. I work around the LA area and always carry an electric plane with me. On the way home, in the late afternoon it is nice to be able to just grab a few batteries, take a few flights and not have to clean or disassemble a plane. Electrics has spoiled me to such an extent that about the only time I bring out my big glow and gassers are on weekends. I have a 1/4 scale Piper Cub that takes me about 15 minutes to assemble and disassemble and an additional 5 to clean up. You will find that nearly all of the glow and gas fliers also fly electrics.