ORIGINAL: mrgoodbar
As I read through your complaints it seems to me that your biggest problem was that you just showed up, as it is my opinion that the best thing people that are interested in racing can do is to spend a couple of race days at the track overviewing what goes on and how things work, ask the experienced guys, and learn the ropes before jumping in with both feet. It's kind of like swimming, you generally don't show up at the pool the first time and jump in the deep end with the sharks which is pretty much what you did.
Your first mistake appeared to be while you were "turn marshalling" (what you called "spotting"), and while it may not seem like a big deal now I will just suggest that the biggest aggrevation to racers are unattentive or slow or lacksidasicalmarshals/spotters. My advice would be to do it like you would want your own car attended to after a wreck, and if you want to get marshalled slowly then proceed with whatever it is that caused the drivers to yell, and if you want to not get yelled at to be attentive to the task at hand and do it quickly as possible. Part of it is that you're new, and going through a learning curve, and right now you probably looked like a couple of deer in the headlights while out there marshalling.
<div id="TixyyLink" style="border-bottom: medium none; text-align: left; border-left: medium none; background-color: transparent; color: #000000; overflow: hidden; border-top: medium none; border-right: medium none; text-decoration: none">Relative to your specific questions:
1) No, you can not drive back onto the track once your car has left the boundary of the track, you have to wait to get marshalled. The problem with driving back onto the track is that chances are you may jump right out in front of or wreck a fellow competitor. Not cool at all if you think about it happening to you, and why it's against the rules.
The longtime rules for RC racing, since the early days of RC, includes "no reverse" on the track. Think of it like if you were driving down the street in your real car. Would you be pleased at all if suddenly the car in front of you flashed on it's backup lights and it started backing up to go into the BurgerKing parking lot they just drove by? Same principal applies to racing.
About "is hitting another car part of racing or cheating," watch any other form of racing on television and think about what the other driver's reaction is if another driver hits them. Simple enough to figure out.
2) There really is no good way to grab any car, let alone a nitro, other than in the middle so as to avoid the wheels. So you understand, nitros do no have fuel pumps, so if a driver does not keep the throttle pegged while the car is upside down it will stall out from lack of fuel. Now, the considerate thing is for them to let off the gas when a marshall approaches or gets ready to reach down and flip over their car. If they don't, then don't touch it.
There are plenty of online resources so as to study up on The Rules,
http://www.roarracing.org/is the national ruling body and a good place to start.
Otherwise I would suggest walking around the pits and becoming friendly with the other drivers, apologize to the ones that may be angry or may have yelled, and tell them you're a rookie and would appreciate their input on helping you and your wife learn the rules and proper on-track behavior.
Keep in mind that RC racingcan bea very mentally taxing, pressurefilled,and stressfull hobby, so some people handle it better and some don't. Some get angry at the least little thing, and some stay cool under the pressure. It's part of racing, I don't care what kind of racing you're talking about be it RC racing or real car racing. Racing can be serious business, and some people have several hundreds if notthousands invested and don't appreciate being crashed. The thing that aggrevates me the most at the track is a new person that drives like a crazy person, all over the place, with no care about anybody else or any other cars on the track.
Remember, just like driving on the street, there are "rules of the road" you have got to follow. Everybody does. If not, all you're left with is anarchy.
Have fun at the track, I try do 
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