is there a best order to learning all the flight modes of a heli?

theres so many ways that when im practicing really hard at a certain way i nearly forget the other ways(which are usually the easiest)

is there a list on what i should have a good grasp on to do that crazy 3d stuff?

What do you mean by flight modes? Do you mean 3-D maneuvers? You must lean the basics like,
nose in
slow piro in both direction
inverted tail in hovering
inverted nose in hovering
rolls
loops
540 stall turns
than upright backwards FF
inverted backwards FF
the list goes on, but get the basics and the rest will come
much easier.

If you are looking to stay in the hobby for a long time, and want to put a little effort into this, try to go through this program in order...

http://www.ircha.org/ppp.html

It will really help anyone find their weaknesses really fast.

When you get half way through it, you will be able to 3D with the best of them!!

Skipping sections, like say nose in right side up, will hurt you later down the road and it will be harder to come back and learn it.