hardlanding7

Funny Questions

1. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
2. What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
3. If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
4. Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
5. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
6. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
7. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
8. Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
9. If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?
10. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
11. Why is the word abbreviate so long?
12. Since cats always land on their feet and jelly bread always lands jelly-side down, what happens if you tie jelly bread to the back of a cat?
13. What happened to the first 6 ups?
14. What's another word for synonym?
15. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
16. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
17. How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
18. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
19. Why do they report power outages on TV?
20. Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
21. If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
22. If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
23. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
24. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
25. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
26. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
27. When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
28. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
29. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
30. If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up?
31. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
32. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
33. Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
34. What is another word for thesaurus?
35. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
36. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
37. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
38. How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
39. Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
40. Why do they put ejection buttons on VCR remotes? DonÆt you have to get up to get the tape anyway?
41. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
42. Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?
43. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
44. Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
45. How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
46. Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
47. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
48. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
49. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
50. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
51. Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
52. Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
53. If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
54. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
55. Life is hard compared to what?
56. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
57. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
58. Why doesn't superglue stick to its container?
59. What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
60. If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
61. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
62. If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
63. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
64. How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
65. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
66. If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
67. If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
68. After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
69. How can there be self-help groups?
70. There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
71. Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
72. Aren't all generalizations false?
73. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
74. If God sneezes...what should you say?
75. Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
76. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
77. If you take a shower, where do you put it?
78. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
79. What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
80. If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
81. If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
82. Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
83. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
84. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
85. Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
86. Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?
87. Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
88. Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
89. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
90. How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
91. If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
92. How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
93. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
94. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
95. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
96. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
97. When people lose weight, where does it go?
98. Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
99. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
100. How is it possible to have a civil war?
101. Is there a Dr. Salt?
102. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
103. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
104. Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
105. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
106. If a tree falls in the woods, and lands on a mime, does anyone care?
107. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
108. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
109. Why is a delivery by car called a shipment and a delivery by ship called cargo?