How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be open by the time that she brings it!

Why is a laundromat a bad place to pick up women?
Because if a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to afford you.

Why do women have smaller feet then men?
So that they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the stove!

Why do men paas more gas than women?
because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Women are like guns, if you keep one around long enough you're going to want to shoot it.

If you dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogomy is the same.

My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it tiook 4 State troopers and a dog.

Scientists have found a food that dimishes a woman's sex drive by 90%, wedding cake.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mother-in-laws!