Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in
the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the
fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and
therefore, unsafe.

Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring
is like squatting to pee.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane
you always have enough power left to get you to
the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition the USAF would be just another
expensive flying club.

What is the similarity between air traffic
controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the
pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last
words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?",
"Where are we?" and "Oh S#!+!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Progress in airline flying; now a flight
attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always
needed to successfully complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is
all luck; three in a row is prevarication.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was
dangerous.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we
never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in
a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead
batteries.

Flying the airplane is more important than
radioing your plight to a person on the ground
incapable of understanding it or doing anything
about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well,
something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather,
your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II. When a
prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to
strike the softest, cheapest object in the
vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the
world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed
to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't
flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride,
astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the
thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob
Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat
on it; ride the ******* down. (Ernest K. Gann,
author &aviator)

Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall
Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and
Climbing. (sign over the entrance to the SR-71
operating location Kadena, Japan).

You've never been lost until you've been lost at
Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver
than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm
in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at
Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing,
a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The
night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get
to experience all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but someone
who's been there)

"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV."
(A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out
on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter,
it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules;
Try to stay in the middle of the air.
Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and
interstellar space. It is much more difficult to
fly there..

You know that your landing gear is up and locked
when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal

Remember to break ground and fly into the wind, not the other way around.

Pointy End First

After 33 years of flying, the phrase that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up is "Watch This!"

The purpose of a propeller on a single engine aircraft is to keep the pilot cool.....If you don't believe it, let it stop and watch the pilot start sweating.

The three most useless things in aviation:
-the runway behind you
-the altitude above you, and
-half a second ago

Helicopters really can't fly, They are so ugly they repel the Earth!

Lift doesn't make an airplane fly-Money does!

Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.

A great landing is one where you can reuse the plane

USCG Proverbs


you sink em we save em

get lost, support search and rescue

And to Nony's list of the most useless things in aviation should be added:
fuel on the ground ,
yesterdays met (to which some wags have been known to add: Today's met. ! )
DG.

or to put it another way, the most useless commodity in aerobatics is the amount of sky above you

M

The only time you can have too much fuel is when you are on fire.