is it still ridiculous for me to think that I could learn how to fly only seeing a instructor once a month and flying in my backyard?
Seeing an instructor once a month is better than not at all. One visit gives that person the chance to give you things to work on, both on the simulator and with an actual airplane. It also will give the instructor a chance to work with you one on one for a period of time where mistakes can be seen and corrections made, new things to work on demonstrated to you and the nuances that you may never think of brought into view.
And would it be a problem that I don't have any hobby shops in my area? Or do you think the club members could take the place of them for advice?
As far as people at the field giving advice, I would trust their word over most hobby shop clerks hands down. Unless the clerk is an experienced pilot, they could very well be giving heresay as gospel or telling you things to get you to buy products they are instructed to try to push by the owner.