Flex the control surface to the amount you will want it to move before applying the thin CA. It sounds like you are trying to move the surface more that it is mechanically possible.

Don't flood the hinge with CA, just make sure the hinge line is covered. Never go back and apply CA a second time. This will tend to harden the hinge.

If the plane is from a "build it" kit, I use triangle stock on the leading edge of the control surface to insure I have plenty of movement room available. Some times the kit aileron stock isn't beveled enough for the amount of movement I like.

For an ARF, you just have to flex the surface before gluing and then cover the gap with clear tape.