if i understand correctly, you are asking if the female deans needs to be attached to the SC and the male to the motor. or vice versa. if i understand your question, then the answer is that it does not matter. I am pretty good at soldering, so i always solder the motor wires directly to the speed controller. I use a deans between the battery pack and the speed controller. Sounds like you have a deans connector between the motor and speed controller. this can be advantageous if you use the same SC with different planes. I'm not aware of any universal standard, so do it wither way, just be consistent if you have multiple planes and you can swap parts between them.