Meddad
If it's any consolation to you crashes do happen.
Do yourself a favor try to develope a liking to building and repairing these things.
I myself had a terrible encounter at a local flying field with the president of the club while at the field on an off day with a member.
To make a long story short I decided I would teach myself to fly if it cost me a million dollars! (almost there!)
I have a nice place on my own land to try. It has become sort of funny.
My usual flying day goes something like this:
One neighbor to another:
"Hey Bob , Dan's going to try to fly his 40 trainer today you wanna go watch"?
Bob: "Well Bill If I do I'm not getting out of the van"!
Bill: "Why not?" " Your safer out of the van than in it"! ( another long story)
Lets just say I did'nt feel bad as I sold Bob the van and even with the damage it's worth more than he paid!

As for your passion for the plane I completely understand. I have a Goldberg cub that will probably never leave my work bench. I just don't have the heart to take it out and wreck it. but as far as the other planes in my stable the are all fair game!
My advice to you is unless you are as pig headed as I am or have a endless resource of funds get help!
And do not solicite help from anyone that can not fly better than you. When I sneak off to my flying field by myself ten buddies show up making it a three ring circus not to mention the endless jokes , it has become as much of the fun as the flying is.....
Even the UPS guy askes me when he delivers my tower Hobbies packages if it is more glue.................

Going up!....Coming down!