Alan unfortunitly , many people will simply not understand your situation based on there own lives and what they want to hear and say to you , so as opposed to giving you a speech - I did truely -----listen to your post and live your life , so I suggest you do the following .
1)contact a good hobby shop in your area ask them for some guys that want some cash for an ARF assemble
this will save you the $75 in shipping a large crate out of state .
2)If that does not work visit a local field ask around RC guys are good and will help
3)Try the ARF section as well as the builders section on rcu .
I do assmeble my own arfs and still build a few kits while manageing an unbelivalble schedule , the onlt way I can do this is that I have a great building area where I can leave everything out and work on it when I can steal some time .
You certainly sound like you have your priorities correct for this time in your life so try to take the steps I suggested and you may find a good rc buddy that needs the cash .
Good luck
Lou