If you are comfortable down low stay there. It really is easier to learn that way.

For harriers and high alpha stuff use whatever control input it takes to keep it doing what you want.
In a true harrier you should be able to steer it around with the rudder and use the ailerons to dampen the rocking. Ailerons will also be used to keep the wings flat in a rudder turn while harrier'ing around. ( opposite ail to rudder input )

I also see a lot of guy saying they use as much control throw as possible but then they use 80-90% expo..... Whats the point?
Your gonna have to move the stick way too much to get it into the 3D rate. Definately use expo but use a smaller %.
I use at the most 45% on elevator and somewhere around 30% on everything else.

Visual clues.........
I am willing to bet that where you think the nose needs to be in a hover or TR is less than what the plane really needs. Thats why in my initial post I was talking about lots of back pressure.

Clean entry into the hover is also important. You dont want to have to add right or left rudder just to get it straight while you are entering. Pull up as straight as you can and add the power as the plane comes to a stop.