It's like riding a bike. Last year I got involved in RC again after about a 10 year absence - though nervous for the first couple of passes the knack came roaring back. From your history of flying it doesn't seem that you stuck with it long enough for the reflexes to become natural. Everyone crashes from time to time, sometimes repairable - sometimes not. The point is that you have to stick with it. You'll solo again when you are ready - and yes the bird may go down - but don't give up this time. Stay with it long enough to build the confidence required and you will be fine. Welcome back to the world's greatest hobbby!!!

Best of luck,
Dan