IMHO you're giving up too quickly on the Votec. Someone above said " Get an experienced 3d flyer to fly your Votec " , and I think that's good advice. Let an experienced flyer check balance , rates , etc. , and give the Votec a try. There is likely a "sweet spot " in upright harrier where the angle of attack is such that the wing rock smoothes out. You may not have found that spot yet. Some designs wing rock more in upright harrier than others.

3D on the Aerofly Pro Deluxe sim is , I believe , often easier than real life.

Anyway , give her another try with an experienced 3der - might save you the cost of a new kit.

Enjoy!

Dorin Luck