You got some good advice here (and some bad). I'll reiterate the good:

1) Get a flight simulator. That alone will help you learn much faster than just flying a trainer. RealFlight and FS One are both good. If you can't afford that, get FMS (Flying Model Simulator, which is free) and a USB controller ($25 at Tower).

2) Schedule time with your club's instructors. Get phone numbers and emails for 2-3 of them if you can, and try to set times/dates to meet up with them in advance.

3) Consider purchasing an inexpensive electric foam trainer like the HobbyZone Super Cub to fly on your own. The Super Cub is pretty easy to fly, fairly durable, and cheap & easy to fix.

A simulator helped me solo after only 3 flights with an instructor. A 40 min drive to the field isn't bad, I have a 35 min drive and about half the guys I know have similar drives to their favorite fields. If you get yourself a Super Cub to fly on your own, you can probably find a park, field, or school yard to fly it at on the weekends or after work. You may even be able to bring your son to watch a flight or two.