For most people the way to go is to get the simulator first. Learn to react to the various situations, particularly when the plane is flying toward you. Learn to land the plane when its flying toward you. Try different types of planes and learn to fly them without crashing. Then buy a QUALITY beginner plane, like the HobbyZone Supercub or Multiplex EasyStar. Don't get hooked into buying a great looking plane or a great price deal from the internet, only to end up having a pile of garbage after 10 seconds of your initial flight.

However, there are some people who did not use the simulator and had great success at flying and others who do not do well on the simulator, yet can fly in the real world quite well. You really need to know your own skills and capabilities. I learned to fly with beginner planes and no instructor with no problem and did not try a simulator until I had been flying for almost 4 years. I just can't get the hang of flying on the simulator, yet in real flying I'm at the expert level.