First off, you'll need to activate the Flaperon Mixer to get the ailerons to act as flaps, and then activate the Flap Trim to adjust how much flap action the ailerons will have when you adjust the flap control.

To get the flaps to move when you move the elevators, you'll need to use two mixes. One mix will be Elevator -> Flap and the other will be Elevator->Aileron. Adjust the direction and percentage of mix to get them to move as desired. When you move the elevators one way, the ailerons will both deflect up; and when you move the elevators the other way, the ailerons will deflect down.